i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
