Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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