oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
