sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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