So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize