that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
