I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
