everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
