What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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