"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
