i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize