does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize