erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
