theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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