There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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