walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
