you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
