Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
