party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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