haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
