Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
