Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
