Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
