Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
