fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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