Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
