I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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