Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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