Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
