Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize