i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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