Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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