Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
