Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
