im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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