I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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