the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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