i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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