That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
