There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
