id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize