Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
