Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
