Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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