I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish you could order shots online.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
