this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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