just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
