hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
