I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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