Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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