i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
