hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
