I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
